I actually ran this two days ago. It definitely was not a good run in terms of exercise or speed or distance. However, this was a good run for what one reason. I actually did it, and kept on until the end. The actual run is not the hardest one I've done thus far. It was a 5 minute walk, 5 minute run, 3 minute walk, 8 minute run, 3 minute walk, 5 minute run and finally a 5 minute walk. The last run of week five was a 20 minute run, no walking breaks, so you'd figure if I got through last week very well, you'd think I could kick this run's butt. However, it would not be that way.
I could tell from the beginning that I was not going to have a stellar day. It's weird, but I feel I now have a sense if my meds will be working well throughout the day or not, early in the morning after I wake up. This was definitely a bad med day. Nevertheless, I went on my run. I dragged my foot a lot, listening to the sound and feeling the ground at both feet as I lumbered down the sidewalk. I knew it was not going to be my best run in the first 5 minutes, because what normally takes me 4 minutes to run (the first two blocks outside my neighborhood), took the full 5 minutes or about an extra 25%.
At some point, I can just imagine the old me saying "F it", I'm walking home and I'll try again tomorrow. However, this time I knew while slow, I could finish the runs and it was better to get the run in then get a good run in. I don't know if that extends into more competitive running, but I knew getting the miles in was key to me succeeding and getting over my bad habits. I'm still not perfect, but I'm getting better, and the wife's nagging (I gave her permission) is also helping. I need to exercise regularly, even if I'm not feeling it. For the most part, after I exercise, I feel better both physically and mentally but there will be days that I do not feel it, my meds are not kicking in and there is nothing I can do about that for the time being, those are the times I have to suck it up.
I need to remind myself of this so I can make the exercise a habit I want instead of a habit I need. Especially on days like today where, I didn't get up to go run.